Bucket of Cheese Sandwhich

73-73-3 brings.... 7-8-1...

• TB -13 vs. Oakland - man I jumped on Houston's bwagon last week and saw Oakland rise up. Why in the fuck did I ever, ever, ever do that. I'm so gullible. Im a rube extreme. Still, TB hasn't cached in completely yet have they? They prolly have, but whatev.


• GB -10.5 v. Detroit - GB doesn't want to lose to Det at home, even if Det. is desparate. This is one funny/sorry-ass game. 0-16. GB, make it happen. Oh, and they will... they will.


• Dallas +1.5 @ Philly - I fucking love this line. I eat it for lunch. Dallas is just fine thank you. They played a kick ass Baltimore team last week. Asside from those 2 freak running plays, their D is solid as shit, blitz crazy, and they will SMASH philly and do great in the playoffs. I LOVE this line.


• GMen +7 @ Minny - I love this too. I'd take GMEN money line, regardless of who isn't playing and the need-to-win Minny mentality.


• Chicago +2.5 @ Houston - antoher line I love. Fuck houston, they're sickly bad.


• NO +3 vs. Carolina - sorry to say Carolina is doomed.


• ATL -14 vs. St Louis


• KC +3 @ Cincy - true garbage time. Aint playin for coach's job - they both gone. Avoid.


• Jax +12.5 @ Baltimore - whatever. Avoid big time. Jax is fucking embarrasing. D Crohns Disease Loose Bowell Gerrard REALLY should be out of a job next year. This fucking stout little meat head is really one of the worst QBs in the league. God, that shit for brains performance against the Colts was really embarrasing. He let his team down, showing himself as the week link on that squad. Can that fool. Can him NOW and god forbid any other team should give him a shot. He truly is worse than Byron Sandwich. Sick in bed, wanting some entertainment, I witnessed the most cringe worthy game of the year so far. And Gerrard is to blame. Awful. Just awful. Belongs on a college team with a small head like that.


• Ten -3 @ Indi - I really have no idea. Dungy Im sure will throw in the towel. He's never learned his lesson and why would he start this year. Ten is in for a HUGE let down but Dungy just can't resist giving up, no matter what. Dungy is awful. This could be on of the sloppiest games of the year and won't help either team do well in the playoffs.


• Pit -11 vs Cleve - gross game. I hate Pitt. I hate Mike Tomlin. I hate Ben Booger. I hate Pitts fans. I hate Pitt.


• Miami +2.5 @ Jets - really? Vegas thinks the Jets will somehow come back to win this when they are verily out of the playoffs anyway? Favre is done. Mangini should be done. Jets will be awful next year, much as they always really were this year. Somehow they beat the Titans.... Miami is more for real than you can ever know. The oddsmakers must be Pats fans. Same Pats fan writers that love to rip on Miami as the bastard child of their beloved division. Im rooting so hard for the Dolphins here you have no idea. Fuck you New England. I'll be delighted and savor every syllable in the coming weeks as I listen to every sports writer in NFC/AFC East lovin America bitch that the NFL is broken after the Pats miss the playoffs.


• New England -6 @ Buff - that said, the Pats do belong in the playoffs. All the sweeter that they miss em.


• Arizona -6.5 vs SEA - have fun next year Jim Mora Jr. Jim, you suck, and look vaguely like McNulty in "The Wire."


• SFO -3 vs. WAS


• SD -8 vs. Denver

80-81-4 going into playoffs. Ugly.  That means after commission I'd be down about 11.25 units of bet, like, if I bet 100 a game every line I picked I'd be down 1125 bones.

Playoff Edition: 

I really would like to take all the road teams, (all favorites), here, but I just won't. Seems too easy and there figure to be some unexpected results.

• Cards +2.5 vs. Falcs - too many people dumping on cards. Seems too obvious here doesn't it.
• Indi -1 @ Chargers
• Baltimore -3 @ Miami - favorite line of the week
• Vikes +3 vs. Philly - We'll im not picking more than 2 road faves, sorry... 

crap

crapola

Here's how I think the playoff will play out SU. This week's ATS picks follow.

AFC

Bolts over Colts - can't wait for the Patriots dick sucking crowd to eat their toxic sputum back up after San Diego raises havoc in the playoffs.
Ravens over Dolphins - blowout

Titans over Ravens
Chargers over Pitts

Titans over Chargers


NFC

Carolina over AZ - yes, Carolina chokes way into #5 seat only to be revitalized by the worst playoff team in history.
Cowboys over Bears

Giants over Cowboys
Carolina over Atlanta

Giants over Carolina - Carolina's D gets destroyed even worse than the 300yd schelacking of last week, and this time the offense doesn't keep pace.

Titans over Giants - no 2 in a row for Eli - call it the revenge of Kerry Collins game.


My dream Superbowl would be Chargers & Panthers - two nationally-hated teams. The AFC/NFC East Sports Media Mafia would do nothing but whine for weeks on end about how broken the NFL was for whatever reason. It would be bad for the sport, but not in a bad way, get it? If the Titans can sneak in, and, say, the Ravens, that will make for plenty of bitch headlines too. Pitts, Giants, Cowboys, Bears, Colts - all these teams will make the sports mob happy and I hope none of them make it to the Big Sombrero, Raymond James Stadium.


Last week:


Indi -6 @ Jax - the DFAMWI Pick O' the Week
Baltimore +4 @ Dallas - I really like this line. This could be the week that Dallas gets knocked out of the playoffs? Who do they finish with? @ Philly right? Perfect.
Pit -1 @ Tennessee - don't want to overreact but I'm not sure I like where the Titans are headed. Now Pit, their offense is just really bad and it might, I stress might, one day catch up to them. Really Pitt shouldn't worry though, the spectre of Dave Wannstedt accross town ensures that the Refs will give them any luck they need to seal the deal.
Miami -4 @ KC
New England -7.5 vs. Arizona - I'm sorry to say I have to pick this line this way. Wouldn't complain if I'm wrong, oh so very wrong.
Cinci +3 @ Cleveland
Philli -5 @ Washington, the imploding team with NO offense.
SFO -5 @ St. Louis
Minny -3 vs. Atl - not sure if this is the right pick. Have a gut feeling to with M Ryan and ATL but,,, no.
Detroit +6.5 vs. NO - this COULD be the week! Go Dante!
Carolina +3 @ NYG - gimpy giants falling apart. Leave it to Carolina to lay an egg though right? This is a huge game. If Carolina wins this and locks homefield throughout, I'd have a hard time saying they weren't superbowl faves. Have to go on the road? Trouble city. Still, in my estimation, you don't want the Cowboys on your side of the bracket if they ending up making it to the playoffs. And the winner of this one figures to get them in their first game, (the second round), of the playoffs. It's even more tenuous for Carolina. Although a win here, even with a loss next week, gives Carolina homefield throughout, there's still the possibility, not even so remote, that losses here and next week leaves Carolina out of the playoffs entirely!
Seattle +5 vs Jets - could this be the game that ends Favre's career? Stick it to him Mike.
Houston -7 @ Oakland
Denver -7 vs. Buf - too bad. Would like to see mediocre SD upset TB and play mediocre Denver getting upset here for the AFC West followed by Chargers vic.
Chargers +3 @ TB - if Garcia is still hurt the TB Bucs are in serious troub troub. Although their D seemed to recover well last week, symbolically the pounding they took against Carolina might have been the blow they will never rebound from.
Chicago -4 vs. GB - Monday Night Dud


6-9 - another horrible week. Makes the season 73-73-3. Well under money back level after commission. Gag.

Moving on: perhaps a clean sweep will power me to break even after commision, although i think i'll need even more. Briefly glancing at these lines makes me optimistic. Despite the fact that it's sometimes tricky in this garbage time of the year, I think I can clean up this week.

• TB -13 vs. Oakland - man I jumped on Houston's bwagon last week and saw Oakland rise up. Why in the fuck did I ever, ever, ever do that. I'm so gullible. Im a rube extreme. Still, TB hasn't cached in completely yet have they? They prolly have, but whatev.


• GB -10.5 v. Detroit - GB doesn't want to lose to Det at home, even if Det. is desparate. This is one funny/sorry-ass game. 0-16. GB, make it happen. Oh, and they will... they will.


• Dallas +1.5 @ Philly - I fucking love this line. I eat it for lunch. Dallas is just fine thank you. They played a kick ass Baltimore team last week. Asside from those 2 freak running plays, their D is solid as shit, blitz crazy, and they will SMASH philly and do great in the playoffs. I LOVE this line.


• GMen +7 @ Minny - I love this too. I'd take GMEN money line, regardless of who isn't playing and the need-to-win Minny mentality.


• Chicago +2.5 @ Houston - antoher line I love. Fuck houston, they're sickly bad.


• NO +3 vs. Carolina - sorry to say Carolina is doomed.


• ATL -14 vs. St Louis


• KC +3 @ Cincy - true garbage time. Aint playin for coach's job - they both gone. Avoid.


• Jax +12.5 @ Baltimore - whatever. Avoid big time. Jax is fucking embarrasing. D Crohns Disease Loose Bowell Gerrard REALLY should be out of a job next year. This fucking stout little meat head is really one of the worst QBs in the league. God, that shit for brains performance against the Colts was really embarrasing. He let his team down, showing himself as the week link on that squad. Can that fool. Can him NOW and god forbid any other team should give him a shot. He truly is worse than Byron Sandwich. Sick in bed, wanting some entertainment, I witnessed the most cringe worthy game of the year so far. And Gerrard is to blame. Awful. Just awful. Belongs on a college team with a small head like that.


• Ten -3 @ Indi - I really have no idea. Dungy Im sure will throw in the towel. He's never learned his lesson and why would he start this year. Ten is in for a HUGE let down but Dungy just can't resist giving up, no matter what. Dungy is awful. This could be on of the sloppiest games of the year and won't help either team do well in the playoffs.


• Pit -11 vs Cleve - gross game. I hate Pitt. I hate Mike Tomlin. I hate Ben Booger. I hate Pitts fans. I hate Pitt.


• Miami +2.5 @ Jets - really? Vegas thinks the Jets will somehow come back to win this when they are verily out of the playoffs anyway? Favre is done. Mangini should be done. Jets will be awful next year, much as they always really were this year. Somehow they beat the Titans.... Miami is more for real than you can ever know. The oddsmakers must be Pats fans. Same Pats fan writers that love to rip on Miami as the bastard child of their beloved division. Im rooting so hard for the Dolphins here you have no idea. Fuck you New England. I'll be delighted and savor every syllable in the coming weeks as I listen to every sports writer in NFC/AFC East lovin America bitch that the NFL is broken after the Pats miss the playoffs.


• New England -6 @ Buff - that said, the Pats do belong in the playoffs. All the sweeter that they miss em.


• Arizona -6.5 vs SEA - have fun next year Jim Mora Jr. Jim, you suck, and look vaguely like McNulty in "The Wire."


• SFO -3 vs. WAS


• SD -8 vs. Denver

Worst NFL teams - fuck you and yours you fuck clowns. You suck ass bitch fuck clowns.

1. Steelers

2. Pats

penultimate nfl regular season week city

Haven't been doing to well lately. 62-55-1 + 5-9-2 = 67-64-3. Under .500 a good bit when you consider at -110 payout. I'm officially in the red after having the hot hand for so many weeks. This is monkey out of a hat territory again.

Beating the spread asside for a second, this is a big weekend in the NFL SU. Both top teams in their respective conferences vying for perma-homefield vs. each other + Baltimore @ Dallas. Looking forward to this and we should know about virtually everything playoff-wise except for perhaps the AFC East and its bevy of mediocre cooked goose squads.

So here we go, trying to end strong, and at least get in the black after the -110 commission fee.

• Indi -6 @ Jax - the DFAMWI Pick O' the Week
• Baltimore +4 @ Dallas - I really like this line. This could be the week that Dallas gets knocked out of the playoffs? Who do they finish with? @ Philly right? Perfect.
• Pit -1 @ Tennessee - don't want to overreact but I'm not sure I like where the Titans are headed. Now Pit, their offense is just really bad and it might, I stress might, one day catch up to them. Really Pitt shouldn't worry though, the spectre of Dave Wannstedt accross town ensures that the Refs will give them any luck they need to seal the deal.
• Miami -4 @ KC
• New England -7.5 vs. Arizona - I'm sorry to say I have to pick this line this way. Wouldn't complain if I'm wrong, oh so very wrong.
• Cinci +3 @ Cleveland
• Philli -5 @ Washington, the imploding team with NO offense.
• SFO -5 @ St. Louis
• Minny -3 vs. Atl - not sure if this is the right pick. Have a gut feeling to with M Ryan and ATL but,,, no.
• Detroit +6.5 vs. NO - this COULD be the week! Go Dante!
• Carolina +3 @ NYG - gimpy giants falling apart. Leave it to Carolina to lay an egg though right? This is a huge game. If Carolina wins this and locks homefield throughout, I'd have a hard time saying they weren't superbowl faves. Have to go on the road? Trouble city. Still, in my estimation, you don't want the Cowboys on your side of the bracket if they ending up making it to the playoffs. And the winner of this one figures to get them in their first game, (the second round), of the playoffs. It's even more tenuous for Carolina. Although a win here, even with a loss next week, gives Carolina homefield throughout, there's still the possibility, not even so remote, that losses here and next week leaves Carolina out of the playoffs entirely!
• Seattle +5 vs Jets - could this be the game that ends Favre's career? Stick it to him Mike.
• Houston -7 @ Oakland
• Denver -7 vs. Buf - too bad. Would like to see mediocre SD upset TB and play mediocre Denver getting upset here for the AFC West followed by Chargers vic.
• Chargers +3 @ TB - if Garcia is still hurt the TB Bucs are in serious troub troub. Although their D seemed to recover well last week, symbolically the pounding they took against Carolina might have been the blow they will never rebound from.
• Chicago -4 vs. GB - Monday Night Dud

insta-reckoning featuring shit beans

• Hawks -2.5 @ Rams. Honestly, Hawks have showed signs of life at times, while the Rams just don't play because they are dysfunctional. Then again, be honest Timmy, have you actually see the Rams play this year?
• Cards -3.5 @ Vikes. It's so easy for the group-think masses at ESPN and crew to jizz down our throats with this NFC West is weak bullshit analysis. In this matchup, the NFC North, what with Chicago!! ohhh Chicago!!!!, might as well be the fucking NFC or AFC East. You cock-chuggers - Arizona is such a better team than the Vikes it's not close. Without their QB and on the road Vikes will eat turds, Cards having clinched or not.
  • New Orleans +3 @ Chicago - I know the NFC South is bunk on the road, and the Saints consistently dissapoint, but is there a weaker team in the playoff hunt than Chicago right now? Please, no there isn't, or I don't eat tacos, taco salads, burritos, etc. Ok, I didn't look, but now I did, and this pick is buyoed by New Orleans' 9-4 ATS record. Fuck Chicago. Lovie Smith and Kyle Orton will both find themselves out of a job eventually; if I was a Chi fan I'd hope it'd be at the end of this season. I really like this pick.
  • Greenbay -1.5 @ Jax - GB might still have a tad to play for right? Even if they don't...
  • Indi -17 vs. Detroit - let's think about this for a bit. Detroit hasn't been blown out much at all, and Indi has blown out everyone. Indi can't really rest on it's laurels though with Baltimore and Pitts crushing it up - unless they want the last playoff spot, which is a Tony Dungyesque thing to want. Maybe Tony will just sit his starters right now, assured of the lowest spot. Got I hate Tony Dungy's style. Couldn't Peyton be served by a better coach? Did he waste his career under this chump? Both teams have gotten crushed by the spread this week. I'm so tempted to take Detroit but... No, no way. Indi by 24.
  • Washington -7 @ Cinci - keep hope alive. Cinci putrescent. Washington just can't score points but Cinci might be the worst team in the league despite records? Another wildcard game considering both teams have gotten crushed by the spread this year indicating extreme inconsistency. Avoid this matchup.
  • Atlanta -3 vs. Tampa - the home team prevails yet again in the NFC South. Atlanta looked great in a loss @ NO last week, and let's face it, Tampa's D got SMOOSHED last night @ Carolina but Garcia's kids were still very much in the game up until the last quarter... or were they. No they weren't. Look out, Tampa's stock in falling. They get two gimme games @ home to finish the season, and if/when they make the playoffs I'd be salivating to play them in the first round.
  • Miami -6.5 vs. SFO - this is a lot of points the way SF has been playing but Miami needs it and at home they get it. Miami's beating SF well this year in terms of ATS performance. Pick buyoed.
  • Jets -7 @ Buf - Jets might be fucking getting crumpled up like a grocery store brand soda can, but the Bills are playing along. Adios Bills. NFC East: most overrated conference in the NFL. No surprise why. It's always been a media darling, a close second to the NFC East. But the NFC East might just actually be worth a shit.
  • Ten -3 @ Houston - not too convinced Houston is anything really. Ten never getting respect deserved. Easy pick for me here regardless of home field, momentum, need to win, whatever. Ten is a silly 11-1-1 ATS! Gimme a break Vegas. Time to eat some more free cash. PICK OF THE WEEK.
  • Pit +2 @ Baltimore - let's not get carried away here. Struggles as they've had, Cowboys offense crushes Baltimore. Pits will handle it fine. Pitts offense troubled but we'll just see. This is a sketch pick and I love to bet against the Steelers but I think they'll win this one. Baltimore is gonna be lit up for a vic. here but I just don't see it comin', much as I'd like to. Baltimore is really good ATS but I think Pits is gonna mean serious business here and the O is going to get their shit together. Still, avoid this matchup.
  • Carolina -7.5 vs. Denver - I continually hedge the Panthers pride by betting against them ATS. Denver is great on the road. Carolina is great at home. Carolina really needs this but will they be looking forward to next week @ Giants already? I just dunno. How is Denver's run D? It's bad. hmm. Nope, I'm sticking with Denver here. No wait I'm not. Edit: pick changed. Wait, wait again. Who has Denver beat on the road this year? Atlanta by 4, Jets (looking shitty), and LOST @ KC. Fuck that. Carolina for sure. Was going to say avoid this pick due to Denver extreme schizophrenia, but more and more the Jets win is bunk, ATL abberation and the AFC West is just weak, weak sauce.
    
  • San Diego -5.5 @ KC - They still have hope. Blowout here. Although, KC is a surprising 7-5 ATS. Arrowhead is good to them right? Hmmmmmm.
  • New England -7 @ Oakland - strangely enough, Oakland would lose to the Seahawks by 14. Plus Seneca had a big game this week, Pats still pulled it out by 4. Like this pick.
  • Dallas -3 vs. NYG - NYG in trouble? On the road? Dallas played a fucking sick Pitts D last week and Tashard Choice was still up to the task. NYG injured/shot etc. Look like Dallas has something to play for though their schedule is brutal. I like this one a bit, surprisingly. NYG choke city?
  • Cleveland +14 @ Philly - Philly please. They are NOT playing like the best team in the NFL previous 2 weeks. NYG folded and the victory over whoever it was the week before was BS too. Philly could be the ultimate darkhorse but they gotta show me more, a lot more. Philly is surprisingly decent ATS but... Philly is 5-2 ATS at home lately, Cleveland 4-1 ATS on the road. Avoid this matchup, as with all 14 pts-esque lines in the NFL.
    

5-8-2 going into MNF. Ugly. Getting worse.

2 Games and a Bowl of Beans

Two NFL games were left out of the mix. Since Im lazy and havent been able to write up bowls we'll probably do those on a night-before basis.

• Hawks -2.5 @ Rams. Honestly, Hawks have showed signs of life at times, while the Rams just don't play because they are dysfunctional. Then again, be honest Timmy, have you actually see the Rams play this year?
• Cards -3.5 @ Vikes. It's so easy for the group-think masses at ESPN and crew to jizz down our throats with this NFC West is weak bullshit analysis. In this matchup, the NFC North, what with Chicago!! ohhh Chicago!!!!, might as well be the fucking NFC or AFC East. You cock-chuggers - Arizona is such a better team than the Vikes it's not close. Without their QB and on the road Vikes will eat turds, Cards having clinched or not.
  

College Bowl Blowout Party featuring Richie Sexson and Adrian Beltre - First 10 Bowls

It's one of the truly fun times of the year for a bettor. We can bet bowls. We can bet props on bowls. We can do bowl pools. We will be doing all of this here. We'll predict the winner ATS as always, then we'll go Glenallen Hill style, fall down a flight of stairs running from imaginary spiders, and predict the straight up winner for your college bowl pool, (if we picked the dog to cover), then we'll here why we picked this way including special guest commentary from Richie Sexon and Adrian Beltre - saviors of the Mariners in the mid-2000s - for this first installment featuring the first ten bowl games.

Let's get right to it, like all loaded Latino players are getting right to signing with the Mets and Dodgers these days. Mets are becoming the New Yankees, the Latino Yanks if you will, much as the Red Sox are the white boy Yanks. Which is most despicable in a Yankees sort of way? The Red Sox of course, though not because of race, and I can't wait to see the Mets and Dodgers flounder this year too. When is Barry Bonds going to trial? Before or near the start of spring training I do believe. He's FUCKED, Michael Vick style. OJ did a real disservice to other athletes that didn't seem mainstream-America by getting away with capital murder red handed. If it wasn't for that, I doubt cases like Vick and Bonds would be so zealously pursued by prosecutors today who know mainstream America can't wait to crucify a rich black sports star. Believe it. Too bad Sammy Sosa can't spend the rest of his days in a Domincan jail for crimes totally unrelated to steroids like Ugueth Urbina who torched a farm worker! It's a crazy world and I'm just getting cash advances on credit cards to bet heavily on it.


EagleBank Bowl, RFK Stadium, Washington, DC, 11 am - Navy +3 @ Wake Forest.

• Adrian: I really like Wake, even though Navy beat Wake by a touchdown earlier in the season.
  
• Richie: Yes Adrian, the ACC has been remarkably inconsistent but we're dealing with an at times really good Wake team that has played both way up to and way down to their competition. Navy seemed to finish the year well and strong but Wake is just a better team and when it comes to the EagleBank Bowl, how could they not be fired up.
• Tim Donaghy: Guys, I lost nearly every single ACC game I bet on where I didn't purposefuly flip around what I thought was the correct pick. It was uncanny. As medicore as the ACC was, and inconsitent as it turned out to be each week, this was, after all, the league I followed most closely, never missing the Raycom 12pm game of the week. We are going with Navy here.
  
• Adrian: Sure thing compadre, and let's take Navy to win out and out as well.
  

New Mexico Bowl, University Stadium, Albuquerque, NM, 2:30pm - Fresno St. +3 @ Colorado St.

• Adrian: I'll admit I haven't seen either of these teams play so picking here is like me stepping up to the plate when I'm clueless as to what pitch is coming since I have a pea-sized baseball intellect.
• Richie: Following up Saturday morning's action on ESPN will be this game played from the high deserts of the Lobos field in Albuquerque, shithole of the high mid-Western plains. I'll probably be drunk already, however early, sitting around with David Wells and Kenny Rogers, reminiscing about the hilarious time this past year I fought with Texas even though I didn't actually get hit by a pitch. It was a cry for help to avoid being cut, Adrian.
  
• Tim Donaghy: Fresno St. beat UCLA and played tough to Wisconsin early in the year. Maybe that's why they are an atrocious 2-10 or so ATS this year! Still, Colorado St., .500 ATS, hasn't done shit asside from playing tough to BYU. Their victories have come against putrescent opponents in the MWC like Wyoming. We'll also take Fresno St. straight up to beat the Rams and the ghost of that one running back who was big there that one year.

Another week of gulasch, glop and connective tissue in a can

 Was 57-46-1... think I had another bad week - obvious lack of foresight put into these picks - times are lean. 

• Vikes -10.5 @ Lions
• Bengals +13 @  Colts
• Falcons +3 @ Saints
• Giants -7 vs. Eagles
• Green Bay -6 vs Houston
• Browns +14 @ Titans
• Bears -6.5 vs. Jags
• SF +3.5 vs. Jets - take that AFC East, you scum
• Pats -6 @ Seattle
• Broncs -9 vs. Chiefs
• Dolphins +1 @ Bills - love this pick
• Pitts -3 vs Dallas
• Baltimore -5 vs Wash
• TB +3 @ Carolina 

5-9, another ugly week. 62-55-1, barely able to cover the -110 commissions, if at all. Functionally under .500 with only three weeks to go I've hit a rut. Moving on...  This week's attempted theme is teams ATS records. And a new feature which I will run full time next year: highlighting the top 6 picks in blue. We'll see if I'm really just a shit picker or if I could be a better picker being more selective. 

• New Orleans +3 @ Chicago - I know the NFC South is bunk on the road, and the Saints consistently dissapoint, but is there a weaker team in the playoff hunt than Chicago right now? Please, no there isn't, or I don't eat tacos, taco salads, burritos, etc.  Ok, I didn't look, but now I did, and this pick is buyoed by New Orleans' 9-4 ATS record. Fuck Chicago. Lovie Smith and Kyle Orton will both find themselves out of a job eventually; if I was a Chi fan I'd hope it'd be at the end of this season. I really like this pick. 
• Greenbay -1.5 @ Jax - GB might still have a tad to play for right? Even if they don't...
• Indi -17 vs. Detroit - let's think about this for a bit. Detroit hasn't been blown out much at all, and Indi has blown out everyone. Indi can't really rest on it's laurels though with Baltimore and Pitts crushing it up - unless they want the last playoff spot, which is a Tony Dungyesque thing to want. Maybe Tony will just sit his starters right now, assured of the lowest spot. Got I hate Tony Dungy's style. Couldn't Peyton be served by a better coach? Did he waste his career under this chump? Both teams have gotten crushed by the spread this week. I'm so tempted to take Detroit but... No, no way. Indi by 24.
• Washington -7 @ Cinci - keep hope alive. Cinci putrescent. Washington just can't score points but Cinci might be the worst team in the league despite records? Another wildcard game considering both teams have gotten crushed by the spread this year indicating extreme inconsistency. Avoid this matchup.
• Atlanta -3 vs. Tampa - the home team prevails yet again in the NFC South. Atlanta looked great in a loss @ NO last week, and let's face it, Tampa's D got SMOOSHED last night @ Carolina but Garcia's kids were still very much in the game up until the last quarter... or were they. No they weren't. Look out, Tampa's stock in falling. They get two gimme games @ home to finish the season, and if/when they make the playoffs I'd be salivating to play them in the first round. 
• Miami -6.5 vs. SFO - this is a lot of points the way SF has been playing but Miami needs it and at home they get it. Miami's beating SF well this year in terms of ATS performance. Pick buyoed. 
• Jets -7 @ Buf - Jets might be fucking getting crumpled up like a grocery store brand soda can, but the Bills are playing along. Adios Bills. NFC East: most overrated conference in the NFL. No surprise why. It's always been a media darling, a close second to the NFC East. But the NFC East might just actually be worth a shit.
• Ten -3 @ Houston - not too convinced Houston is anything really. Ten never getting respect deserved. Easy pick for me here regardless of home field, momentum, need to win, whatever. Ten is a silly 11-1-1 ATS! Gimme a break Vegas. Time to eat some more free cash. PICK OF THE WEEK.
• Pit +2 @ Baltimore - let's not get carried away here. Struggles as they've had, Cowboys offense crushes Baltimore. Pits will handle it fine. Pitts offense troubled but we'll just see. This is a sketch pick and I love to bet against the Steelers but I think they'll win this one. Baltimore is gonna be lit up for a vic. here but I just don't see it comin', much as I'd like to.  Baltimore is really good ATS but I think Pits is gonna mean serious business here and the O is going to get their shit together. Still, avoid this matchup. 
• Carolina -7.5 vs. Denver - I continually hedge the Panthers pride by betting against them ATS. Denver is great on the road. Carolina is great at home. Carolina really needs this but will they be looking forward to next week @ Giants already? I just dunno. How is Denver's run D? It's bad. hmm. Nope, I'm sticking with Denver here. No wait I'm not. Edit: pick changed.  Wait, wait again. Who has Denver beat on the road this year? Atlanta by 4, Jets (looking shitty), and LOST @ KC. Fuck that. Carolina for sure. Was going to say avoid this pick due to Denver extreme schizophrenia, but more and more the Jets win is bunk, ATL abberation and the AFC West is just weak, weak sauce. 
  
• San Diego -5.5 @ KC - They still have hope. Blowout here. Although, KC is a surprising 7-5 ATS. Arrowhead is good to them right? Hmmmmmm. 
• New England -7 @ Oakland - strangely enough, Oakland would lose to the Seahawks by 14. Plus Seneca had a big game this week, Pats still pulled it out by 4. Like this pick.
• Dallas -3 vs. NYG - NYG in trouble? On the road? Dallas played a fucking sick Pitts D last week and Tashard Choice was still up to the task. NYG injured/shot etc. Look like Dallas has something to play for though their schedule is brutal. I like this one a bit, surprisingly. NYG choke city? 
• Cleveland +14 @ Philly - Philly please. They are NOT playing like the best team in the NFL previous 2 weeks. NYG folded and the victory over whoever it was the week before was BS too. Philly could be the ultimate darkhorse but they gotta show me more, a lot more.  Philly is surprisingly decent ATS but... Philly is 5-2 ATS at home lately, Cleveland 4-1 ATS on the road. Avoid this matchup, as with all 14 pts-esque lines in the NFL. 

Now to go back and highlight the matchups I truly believe are good... until then.  Seattle-St Louis and Minny-Ariz are off the board for now. More on that later or I'm not Gilbert Brown, the NFL's fattest (ex)-player.

50-58

A deplorable college result so far. 50-58. Picked games willy-nilly. Bet games I shouldn't have, didn't bet games I should have. Didn't watch enough sports. Run on sentences galore. 

Whatever here's some picks in the last week of the season pre-bowls - a bettor's feast, (the bowls, is that a split infinite/dangling participle or something?). 

Navy -10.5 @ Army

nope you know what im done with college - ill wait for the bowls and make some smart choices in an attempt to salvage the season....

Gross Eatin

Didnt get around to pickin all games last week, and I didn't pick'em good. I was planning on changing them and felt strange. Great stat courtesty of Bill Simmons - whom I usually dislike immensely due to his retarded movie references and Boston sports embarrasing sycophantism - that Home teams are basically dead ATS this year. It's an amazingly shocking record thats basically a .350 winning percentage. Taking the road team  accross the board ATS this year in the NFL would make you a rich gambler...  Anyway, on to the bets I did pen down without much thought early last week: 

• Tennesee -11 @ Detroit - Nothing like Detroit's horrendous, porous D to make Tennessee's offense look more than viable again. That reminds me, start Brandon Jones this week in fantasy. 
• Hawks +13 @ Dallas - just don't think Dallas is that good. We'll see. We'll see. Could switch this later in the week. 
• Cards +3 @ Eagles - don't think the Eagles have much of a chance here. I have been doing good betting against them. How are they ATS this year... Hmm actually they are 6-3-1 and the Cards are 3-6-1. Still like the Cards here.
• Ravens -7 @ Bengals
• Colts -4.5 @ Browns - wo hold on here. I just picked 5 road teams in a row? - I CANT BELIEVE THE COLTS WON BY ONLY 4!!! Creepy shit here. James Irsay!? 10-6? Really?
  
• Bills -7 vs 9ers - wow this is a tough line to handicap. Maybe ill switch this to 9ers later too. 
• Chargers -5 vs. Falcons - another toughee

• Chiefs +3 @ Oakland
• Pats -1 vs. Steelers
• Jets -7.5 vs. Broncs
• Vikes -3.5 vs. Bears

An ugly 4-7... the first losing week in weeks. Strange heads up results and bizzarre, un-thoughtout choices that seemed to defy my own will. Missed last nights game but let's recover shall we. 57-46-1...

• Vikes -10.5 @ Lions
• Bengals +13 @  Colts
• Falcons +3 @ Saints
• Giants -7 vs. Eagles
• Green Bay -6 vs Houston
• Browns +14 @ Titans
• Bears -6.5 vs. Jags
• SF +3.5 vs. Jets - take that AFC East, you scum
• Pats -6 @ Seattle
• Broncs -9 vs. Chiefs
• Dolphins +1 @ Bills - love this pick
• Pitts -3 vs Dallas
• Baltimore -5 vs Wash
• TB +3 @ Carolina